Monster
by awordycontradiction
Summary: "Did I ever think to tell you that I am a monster..."


**Song-fic. These things are addictive. **

**Monster- Kris Allen **

"_Did I ever think to tell you that I am a monster? You have never seen this side of me."_

Erica didn't know what happened, it was all going so fast. Stiles had come to apologize, sincerity and compassion deep in his tawny eyes, and the next thing Erica knew she was kissing him, throwing herself at him, proving to him something she didn't know needed to be said. He drove her crazy, scorched her skin with every look, sent thoughts spinning inside her head every time he wet his lips. It was the little things, things that Erica shouldn't have taken the way she had. He was in love with someone else, but he kissed her back, let her push him against the wall, followed her up to her room. He did all those things, willingly. It meant something. Erica could still feel the contact, the rough and rushed push of his lips on her own. She would hold onto that now. People were rushing all around her, people in white coats talking to her, questioning her, and she didn't hear any of it. What could she say? Erica could still taste the metallic tang on her tongue, remembered too vividly the way his dark blood coated the inside of her mouth. She had his blood on her hands, and though they had been washed, she could still feel it there, warm, sticky, weakening the wall she had, weighing down her stability. She couldn't believe this was happening. She forgot it was a full moon, mistook the signs of passion for that of the monster within her. Erica cringed at the thought, but that was what she was. A monster.

"_Maybe I should wear a warning that says there is danger if you ever get too close to me."_

She had no control over it, Derek had said. She was shocked he even came, what with her abandoning him, she didn't deserve his help, but Stiles did. He owed Stiles his life for all he had done. How could she have been so stupid? How could she risk everything on one fleeting moment, one rushed kiss? But it wasn't one kiss, and the memory sent a flush to her cheeks, the way he touched her, his long soft fingers running along her heated skin. The contact was enough to send her over the edge, and that was probably what did it. The raw, electric, satisfying reaction she got from him, it turned every animalistic part of her into a dangerous machine. She couldn't stop the pleasure that she had gotten from Stiles pressed against her, nor could she control the way his grunts and moans mixed with her own staggering breath caused the claws to lengthen, her teeth to sharpen, her eyes to glow with a fire that didn't mean the same thing that her heart had. Her heart wanted Stiles, as did the animal inside her mind, and it had cost him what? Erica still wasn't sure. She should have saw the signs that she was going too fast, that they shouldn't have been together, that Erica was a hazard in the most crude form. Her eyes were black, the mascara and dark shadows running down her face, causing her eyes to look much like an animal. She didn't care much though. Her eyes, those dark, dangerous eyes watching Stiles through the glass, he was hooked to machines, he was sleeping, he was stable, according to the monitor next to him, but he was hurt, and probably scared for life. Erica was a monster.

"_You don't know what I know. You're not safe at all."_

He gave her a sheepish smile as she walked into the room, his eyes lazy with sleep, an affect from the medication according to Mrs. McCall. His best friends mother almost thought better of letting Erica into the room, Erica almost wished she hadn't. The woman knew, Stiles being attacked by an animal was too close to the truth, and it wasn't hard to put two together. Erica ducted her head, not wanting to meet his gaze. She already had tears in her eyes, and it angered her. She wasn't weak anymore, she didn't run home from school crying any longer, and she wasn't supposed to get upset or lose control like this, she wasn't supposed to hurt anyone, especially not Stiles. _"Is everyone's first time supposed to go like that?" _Stiles' joke only left Erica feeling colder than before. How dare he try to make light of the situation, he could have died, Erica could have lost him. _"I am so sorry, Stiles."_ She whispered, only then looking at him._ "I am so, so sorry."_ She flinched as he went to take her hand, not letting him touch her. She thought back to earlier in the night, the way she couldn't get enough of him touching her, of him kissing her, holding her. The way they rolled around her bed, fighting to be dominant, to have the most control. It was always Stiles, Erica had no control. She sniffed back more tears and brought a hand up to push curls away from her face. He looked so weak, he lost so much blood, and he was still looking at her like she couldn't do anything wrong. _"What do you want me to say?" "Say you hate me." _She pleaded. _"Erica" _His voice was stern as he struggled to sit up in the hospital bed. He wasn't understanding what she was trying to do, he wasn't seeing it, that she had to let him go, that this was goodbye. _"I'm fine!" _She believed he spat at her as she walked away, but he wasn't and he wouldn't realize that if she was still there. _"I'm sorry."_ She mumbled as she left.

She couldn't hurt him anymore if she wasn't around.


End file.
